Missing you

Adonys,

Hey my baby, I miss you so much it hurts! This week has been an increasingly hard one for me. It's just hard waking up everyday and not being able to see your smiling face or hear you call out to me. I think what am I to do and of course everyone else would be like keep busy, try not to think about it, but how can I not think about it. To do that would be to not think about you and how can I not think of my best friend in the whole world besides your dad. Im so confused Adonys and sometimes I know exactly what direction I am going in and then all of a sudden I will crack and the walls start caving  in and I cant breathe. When I started this temp job yesterday, I felt so uncomfortable and I did not know why and then I came in this morning and looked up and knew that it was because of the pictures of the kids on the wall staring back at me, distant, lifeless eyes and I thought about you and I cried and cried. Then I called your dad and he asked me to stick it out because we need the money and we do but is it worth the price of my sanity? I hate that I feel this way, I hate crying everytime a child walks past me, I hate not being able to go places sometimes because im scared im gonna freak out, but most of all I hate being here without you, it is like torture. Im struggling babe, the devil playing with my head and I need you to tell Jesus to make him stop, to make him go away. Please come back Adonys, we need you here just as you were when you left, please make your way back, beg Jesus and our Father to let you come back. Maybe the life you were gonna have was not a good one and maybe because of your death our lives will be better in the long run, but if you come back i can garauntee that it will be the best life that any of us could live, filled with love and hope and family and great times, tell him Adonys i promise!

I LOVE YOU- MOMMEE

P.s. Was that a sign from him yesterday, if so keep em coming!